The Sensuality Catch, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), that makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are brought in to extremely difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to effective feelings of tourist attraction, enjoyment, nearness, wellness, and love .

But when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that much of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, encourages sexual activity. Lots of gay males want to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) useful source with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

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