The Sensuality Deception, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , leading to effective feelings of destination, excitement, love, wellness, and closeness .

However when issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cosmopolitan locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced page intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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