The Sensuality Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. But those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings enormous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to exceptionally hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, excitement, wellness, love, and closeness .

But when issues occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that many of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the linked here culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Numerous gay males wish to discover out from the starting if a potential partner is going to imp source be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow with time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance browse around these guys your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is necessary for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, values, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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