The Sexuality Trap, Balancing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love carries tremendous meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to very tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin why not try here (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , causing effective feelings of tourist attraction, excitement, well-being, love, and nearness .

But when problems occur, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay males, says that numerous of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to point out that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, goals, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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